AITA for telling my ex's daughter that I am not her aunt or her other mom?

There is a difference between "both of us are invited to the same wedding" and "both of us are close family to one of the people getting married"

I'm not arguing that she should take a parental role in the half siblings life, and I'm not arguing she should have any role at the cost of her mental health, but having the role of "mother to their half-siblings" is an actual role, and it involves things like having them sleep over occasionally and generally being not a negative influence on their lives. You don't have to give them parental love, but they should not feel ostracized.

If I had to compare it to a role people in my life have played, it would be like the parents of my close friends. I can visit their house, occasionally join for a meal or a sleepover. It isn't that they parent me, they parent someone I'm close to, and occasionally I'm present.

The reason I voted NTA is because the ex and AP are trying to get OP to take on a parental role, which is absolutely wrong, but instead of the gut reaction of "let me limit my interaction with this crazy as much as possible" I think it is important for OP to at least consider what the lives of her children and their relationship to their half-siblings will be like and what her role will be and that she makes sure she doesn't unintentionally cause alienation between them.

/r/AmItheAsshole Thread Parent