YTA.

Sorry, but you've actually admitted in your post that you think she was joking.

The comment about the kids gets me. I am confused how your kids have ruined your life. You're blaming her indirectly for that, but stating it's becoming a mother that ruined your life directly. Your mother didn't create the child so I'm still struggling to comprehend her responsibility to your near-adult life choices.

I mean at any stage from the beginning of the marriage to now, you could have left. You've proceeded to create a whole family unit and then come back to blame her for your life?

I honestly think you overreacted in this situation in my opinion.