NTA

Paranoid mothers are some of the worst.

When I was a kid there was no privacy at all. No locks. Always bursting the door open and scaring the shit out of me. She once furiously hammered away at a door I locked one time. And the reason mom also wanted the locks gone was because she would chase me and start hitting me pretty hard, mostly it was over nothing. Start chasing me up the stairs cussing and (with the locks gone) I would put all of my weight against the door so she couldn't come in. At one point when this happened I could hear her from the other side start to chuckle (like some insane serial killer) and say "Oh...I'll get you..." It was like some fucked up game.

Another time she took my laptop from me because I back talked her (not even that bad, more like.. apathetically and I bet she preferred to see me crying and begging her so she yanks my computer from my hands as I'm laying on the bed and was just about to hit me hard over the head with it when my aunt stepped in and grabbed her in a chokehold. It was like watching a dog get super submissive.

She mainly would monitor my friends and I (stalking, writing down license plates - although that last one isn't so bad, if she could just do it discreetly..) then calling/texting friends when I was in my teen years. She would call up the parents to get their numbers.

Also would try to do everything for me (when I would clean or try and make food I would get heavily scolded because it's not the right way, every. time.)

I'm a child who needed a parent, not a correctional officer. Now I've got some weird anxiety and no self-confidence.

Just recently she's accused me and her husband of colluding with one another to make her suffer. Acting like we're snickering behind her back. I'm halfway across the world, wtf should I care? And in some fucking SICK way (the way the conversation was going) I think in her mind she thought me and her husband like each other (like that...seriously..wtf) I've known him since I was a kid, he's like a dad to me. And he's a good person. But, I just couldn't believe she thought of me in this way (I assume it's jealousy because he likes me as a person way more than her) but I try not to be so damn offended because it also must suck to be in her head space. Thinking everyone is out to get you.

While I'll admit I've talked about her in a not so kind light (like now) I feel that I have a bit of a right to it because my life has been nothing but a dramatic torturous roller coaster and I'm so frustrated but apparently it's all my fault for not knowing better when I was younger. Not to mention being called a cunt, slut, whore, everything under the sun (even going as far as talking shit about me to make herself look better, not just family but my own friends) as a kid up until I was eighteen. I despise the hypocrisy! And I'm sorry if seven year old me couldn't defend myself from your crazy antics like making me your security blanket to talk about all your problems too and expecting sound advice. Years and years of manipulation warped me and If I'm being honest, I do wish I was never born. But it is what it is.

I just hope those of you who have kids and kind of helicopter, please take into account what your actions might do to your child. Some things are irreversible.