This seems insane to me. I do the laundry at our house. When it comes to some of my wife's stuff, I either do what she instructs or tell her she should probably do it if I'm not confident I'll get it right (men's clothes are pretty simple by comparison). I don't just do it myself and do it the way I feel like it. Nor does that make me an employee. If I did her delicate clothing the wrong way and it turned out mostly ok this sub would still not call her an asshole for saying she found my laundry skills less trustworthy going forward. Between these comments and the ones infantilizing her due to her gender I feel like I'm taking crazy pills. Have any of ya'll been married and had to rely on your partner for something?

If you’re going to be a dick about her not following your instructions

How is "I'm a little disappointed and will do it myself next time" being a dick? I know I'm going to get buried for going against the norm but I am completely baffled by the responses in this thread. you don't agree to do something, do something different, and then get angry because the person is slightly perturbed afterwards. She can just say "I don't feel comfortable with that", she has agency.