i'm sorry your brain sucks too.

yeah, sometimes i want to tell my shrink, but then i get afraid he is going to institutionalize me or something. i only see him once every few months... it's hard to dig too deep in that time span.... especially after we spend half that time exchanging formalities.

i don't think the world owes me anything. like i don't want a pity party or anything. like i said on paper (white, american, male, not poor, college degree, home owner, kid owner, shitty boat haver, etc) i am good. but i still think about blowing my brains out.

i'm glad i can hear someone else say "blowing my brains out." it's fucked, dude. we are fucked up, dude. that's a really weird thing to say. it's gloomy as shit.

oh life.

thanks for replying.

let's be less shitty.

i drove drunk to a friends house and crept through his garage to search for some weed.... i thought that would help.... couldn't find any..... looked in his garage attic and found a bag of bras, fake nails, and a wig.... not sure what to make of that..... either he is a cross dresser, those are from a former fling (he's married now), or he is a fucking psychopath. i am not sure why i told you all of that. i guess i just saying that i think weed makes me less suicidal...... unless i never smoked weed in the first place...