I was chatting up this girl at a friend's house party. She was pretty cute. And at some point she started talking about her new salt lamp, but every time she said it, she would say "Himalayan sea salt lamp"

And I'm trying to ignore it. It doesn't matter. She's got a new lamp and she's excited about it. And she's a little drunk and keeps accidentally calling it a sea salt lamp. Just ignore it. I have a penis and maybe this chick will touch it if I can just listen to her lamp story and just be cool for a little while.

Himalayan sea salt lamp

Sea salt

SEA SALT

it has helped with my allerg-
the Himalayas are mountains
what? you keep calling it sea salt, but the Himalayas are a range of mountains
I know that- it's just that they're not even near the ocean ok

She still has not touched my penis.

Not even close. Like, if her vagina were the ocean...