I stayed up the whole night reading through everything that came out, thinking it was so long ago that I don't even care that you managed to come out of this looking almost perfect. And then I saw this thread.
You are what, 43 now? Do you seriously still not understand it wasn't "just asking"? KoL is a PG-13 webgame. Not FetLife. If I were a man, I only needed to be "polite and groovy". I was trying to be exactly that. I didn't PM a dev of a webgame expecting to get "kinky". Nobody does. "Ethical" implies consent. That the request was wanted. That you didn't involve random people in your "kink" hoping they are receptive.
I wasn't a good girl who could brush off gross men with a smile because "they were just asking". Not yet. I was new to the Internet. I freaked out and ignored it. You were the first man to ask such a thing of me. You were far from the last. That doesn't make every new instance any easier to stomach. I stopped freaking out though, and learned to smile and change the topic and die a bit inside and recognize fuckups as that: fuckups. Of course, growing up isn't just getting used to gross men: I've known many more men who wouldn't do what you did "because they are men". But when Phoenix defended you, I had hoped that you've grown. Apparently not.
You weren't just a random guy on the internet either. You were a dev. You were supposed to be cool. You were representing the game. You being a gross lecherous sleazeball made the entire community seem like gross lecherous sleazeballs. Or is "tits or gtfo" totally fine and the height of humour so long as you didn't mean the gtfo part? Would you have laughed at someone asking your daughter that?
I rejoined a bit before WoL came out when I saw that you were no longer involved. I found comments on Reddit where you seemed bitter at Jick. I assumed that meant Jick must have been in the right. I felt vindicated. I was wrong. Judging by what came out I don't disagree that you were abused by Jick. I disagree that you were innocent. Bad people sometimes hurt other bad people. You were both bad people, perhaps in different ways and to different extents, but both horrible and hurtful and blind to it, and apparently still blind 15 years after.