Do you allow your spouse to take your child/ren to your in laws without you there?

I have this rule. Mostly because there are only two scenarios in which I can see her going without me: 1. I'm not welcome there or 2. I'm unwilling to go there. In the first scenario, I would never let her go somewhere I was unwelcome, and in the second, I would never ask her to do something I am unwilling to do myself.

I'm not particularly close with my in-laws. My MIL made it clear from the time we started dating that she doesn't approve. She talks shit about everyone behind their back, so I have zero interest in letting her see my child behind my back. My FIL (they're divorced) is mostly checked out of our lives but pretends I'm not there when he visits our place and has maybe said 40 words to me in the 8 years I've been with his son.

I know that this rule puts a cramp on their relationship with my child, but that's actually fine with me. Neither of them is a fantastic role model.

FWIW, my partner is completely on board. We live about 1.5 hours away from his parents. He's not interested in spending the majority of one of his weekend days without me anyway.

/r/AttachmentParenting Thread