My 10 year old woud remember me sort of.
My 5 year old would only remember what she was told.

My 2 year old would know nothing of me, which is best.

I've endured the shit shovelled my way for 4 years and have tried my best to show her that I am sorry and that I truly am sorry for what I did. She is not happy with that. I understand that it is her prerogative. It is me that fucked up after all.

She wants me to show some sort of "penance" that I'm not 100% sure how to do. She says that if I don't know how to do it, then I truly don't mean how sorry I am.

I've cut off everything from the past that led me to this point and I have tried being open and honest with my wife. We haven't been consistently open with eachother and I don't know what else I can do to show her my remorse.

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I'm truly sick about how things happened. I was in a horrible place and I never should've done what I did. Everything is 100% my fault.

If I were to just disappear right now, she and the kids would have a solid $250k in life insurance to restart with. Not to mention the liquidation of our assets (house, commodities, etc...)

I don't want to be a burden to anyone and as it stands, that is all I can see that I am. The only other I can think of is waiting until I retire from the military next year so that they receive my VGLI plus my pension.
I just want to make sure they are set up as best as possible.