It's not that they think I'm annoying; they think I'm a dick. When I don't talk, or respond, they assume I'm directing it at them. Then they get annoyed with me because I'm aloof and don't seem invested in anything that's happening. And they're not even wrong most of the time. I get distant really easily and I randomly dislike people a lot for basically no reason. I don't think telling people that changes much. People still don't want to be around someone who isn't passionate about things and can't hold a conversation. Pretty much the best I can ever manage is to get people to think I'm boring instead of an asshole and that never feels like it's worth the emotional effort it takes to get to that point.

I feel like I have been watching people and trying to get better and it hasn't worked. I don't feel like I've progressed in any significant way since I was sixteen and it hurts whenever I think about it. I still can't improvise a conversation and I freeze up whenever anyone says anything to me about almost every topic I'm aware of