"I almost got fired for wearing this to work today"

As this man's boss, let me give you my side of the story. You see, when Mike showed up to work this morning, I joked around with him about his attire. "Looks like you decided our mandatory Easter Sunday workday was more like Casual Sunday, Mike!" I giggled.

He laughed too, I think, just too quietly for me to hear and without moving his mouth. "Don't you ever presume to touch me again," he murmured hatefully under his breath - as a joke, of course. We have fun here at Jones, Smith & Davis.

I clapped Mike on the back and continued to make my rounds of the office. Most people ignored me. Just another one of their practical jokes! Like I mentioned earlier, the office is a laugh a minute.

Anyway, when I returned to Mike's desk, I realized to my horror that my enthusiastic slap on his back had dislodged a necklace. It was silver, with a Darwin charm parodying the ichthys. It was obvious, right out in the open, and to top it all off the fish had feet. What fish have feet, I ask you? It was, hands down, the funniest thing I've ever seen, even funnier than when Donna put a picture of a cantankerous cat on the break room wall!

Unfortunately, just when I was about to give Mike a promotion for his hilarious necklace, I noticed someting else: the necklace had weighed down his t-shirt and his chest hair was now clearly visible halfway up his neck. "Mike," I said in horror, "You can't work here if you're not either going to manscape or wear turtlenecks like Creepy Barry does to hide his creepy neck folds. You're going to have to go."

"Please, Mr. Jones," Mike begged, falling to his knees, "Give me another chance. I'll take care of it, I promise."

That was the first time Mike has ever talked to me directly. So naturally, I had to give him a second chance. But if he ever wears another necklace that pulls his shirts down like that again - well, let's just say that I'll have to talk to my dad about maybe, possibly, but probably not, firing him. My dad doesn't value my opinion very highly. It's fun. We have fun here.

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