Almost killed myself this morning

I'm 15, and damn right this is rock bottom. I used to be hooked on Xanax pretty good, I've done coke, acid, drink alcohol too much. I would go as far as saying I'm dependant on weed for my appetite, sleep, and being able to enjoy everyday things. I was sober all of last month and felt no change in my mood other than being more bored and anxious. What made me decide to stop for a little bit was a bad acid trip that showed me the substances were putting a bubble around my real self and I was being held hostage by all these chemicals. Sadly 4 weeks later I had a really bad day and feel right back into the cycle, thankfully I'm off Xanax. No wonder my parents say the things they did because everything they call me is true, "A drug-addicted mess." "How could you have so many problems at this age?" "I guess you don't care about your family enough to stay clean." I just want to restart... and that's how we got to this morning.

/r/depression Thread Parent