I dont ever post on anything man, I literally made this account im on over a year ago for a stupid little Pokemon Go stint I had. Me on Pokemon Go is so ridiculous lol you dont even know....I only read comments online, I never post....not on YouTube and definitely not on Reddit....
You're still young, you can kick this problem you're dealing with right now. I grew up around a lot of gang culture in northern California years ago, I've been around a lot of people who smoked meth and did a whole lot of other bad things. One of my best friends got shot and died and i could have been there that night as well. Ive changed myself on the inside for the better, and Ive gotten jumped and beat senseless for it just because I left it all behind and wanted to do better, gang culture is evil. The tail end of that life was over 10 years ago, when I was 21 (your age exactly) and seen my friend dead in a casket and went to touch his arm like I used to do to wake him up early at his house some mornings and he was stiff as a board....Thats when i had my awakening to actually change, even though I knew the life I was living was wrong, that was my final straw.
You CAN change, people change every day. You're still young, its only been 3 months since you started meth. Turn away from it now, it only adds the most screwed up layer to your already complicated life. We all have problems and we have to deal with them, its life and we are not alone. I know it might sound corny, and trust me i know it does because I used to think it was myself, but God loves us. And God loves us all, and that means that you have the opportunity to find Him, as well as find other people who have been touched by God who can be there for you in time of need. You are not alone, even though at times like right now you may feel alone. You need to give yourself the opportunity for that to take place, you need to stop using meth right now, as soon as possible. Life is not easy my friend but life in and of itself is a miracle, and sometimes we have to face some difficult circumstances to get to the substance of it all. Ive seen too many people throw their lives away to meth. But you know what, ive also seen the worst of the worst actually get OFF OF METH, and you too can do it. I also had a father that was never there, in fact he was there but never for me. He was a married man who had an affair with my mother for YEARS, so many years in fact that he and her got so old that they no longer cared to have an affair because their age could no longer keep up with the sexual immorality. He was never there for me, only there to lock himself in the room with my mother while me as a child felt very alone, every night he showed up. I can literally feel the emptiness and isolation as I type this.
But i am no longer alone, life got better, God had a plan for me and he has a plan for you too. Drugs distance us from that plan though. Please seek the help you need, starting with getting sober. You are NOT a loser, you will be the biggest WINNER when you pull through all of this! If you ever need to talk, you can message me okay.