Happily married father of 3 amazing children here. He sounds just like me until I woke up one day almost 3 years ago, terrified of my decision to keep drinking. Even though I knew it was destroying my relationship everything I hold dear to me.
I drove to an AA meeting, beers falling off and out of my truck on the way there that I'd forgotten about from the previous night. There was only one guy there, and he talked to me for an hour straight. One thing from that conversation stuck with me. He asked if I wanted someone else to raise my children. That turned my life around. I went to AA every day for 3 months but never got a sponsor. I still go sometimes but it's rare. I found accountability with my wife. She put up with my getting wasted on a regular basis for 10 years.
It's hard to stop drinking when it's so integral to your life for so long. I was in a band for 10 years and drank heavily then. Once I quit that band, I kept drinking just as hard. I would pass out in online game groups. There was no point. I was trapped and needed help.
AA is always there. Recovery Elevator podcast is great, and SMART Recovery helps too. There's an app called In the Rooms that has online meetings. It's great to have people to relate to about problems drinking. I hope he can figure it out. He sounds just like I was.