Hm maybe I wasn't clear either because I think we're on the same page. Maybe it just came across like she was absolved of all responsibility.

Yes, we talk about it. But if I'm feeling anxious, I try to mitigate it myself first through skills I've learned through therapy. The thing about anxiety is that it's irrational, so to bring myself to a "normal" reaction, I need to be able to talk to myself rationally, which is a skill that's developed through practice. Obviously, if I'm calling him crying or we're at home and I'm having a panic attack, he's going to hold me and talk to me until it passes. He's not gonna just ignore me and tell me to go to a therapist... but I also shouldn't be calling him every time I'm anxious and expecting him to drop everything and be the solution. That would be like, 25 times a day