Am I [27F] dating a mooch? How can I talk about this with him [28M]?

You aren't being entitled.

Does he have his own place to stay? I think he has two choices here, and you communicate this with him:

1) he finds a temporary job and contributes financially in the interim while looking for a real job he's interested in and stops taking advantage of you (e.g. you paying his bill when he doesn't and instead buys luxury items).

If you don't mind him being there but you want him to pay his bills, help with groceries, you need to explain that. Outline what you think is fair (honestly, about everything you've said your instincts are right, so follow them).

2) he goes and lives on his own and deals with his own stuff and you just keep dating and living your lives. Until he gets his stuff sorted out, he does him and you do you. Tell him you aren't able to have him live with you if he isn't financially contributing. If he needs a loan, he goes to a bank or seeks financial help (not from you).

It is not your responsibility ESPECIALLY this early on into a relationship to support him financially.

If you would be happy with him being there, and you financially supporting him with conditions (e.g. you want him to clean as a form of "payment" so to speak for financially supporting him).

You need to talk to him. Stick to facts and if he gets upset and defensive, stay strong and firm but politely say, "I'm sorry you feel upset. I am trying to find a common ground in which we can work this out as a team so that we can continue this relationship without building any angry, resentment or issues that last long-term."

Does this help at all? It's really hard to lay it all out for you, but you've communicated well with us. Do that with your bf! If he's defensive, rude, upset, etc. then lay it out and give him time to think about what he wants to do and go from there.

/r/relationships Thread