I am 29 (F) and my boyfriend is 35 (M), we've been together for 2 years, and I think I am completely over the relationship because he drinks every day and is unmotivated and it's all just sinking in.

This is almost my exact situation. He has a good job and education but his hobby is alcohol and porn or cnn. I have tried to introduce hobbies, outings, board games, ANYTHING. He pretended to enjoy things I liked in the beginning but after 6 months he dropped the charade.

I know he's depressed but he has animosity towards mental illness and talking about feelings. (Also a charade he dropped 2 years ago). he will not exercises and he doesn't respect my feelings or me in general conversation. Absolutely refuses to communicate and expects me to mind read. Will not discuss our relationship sober. Had the audacity to tell me repeatedly that if I didn't have sex with him he would leave me - and has rules about when we can have sex. He's only available at 6am because he doesn't do night sex. . . That started about a year into our relationship.

I have stayed in shitty relationships before but this one - alcoholism? Too much. It's just too much. What I have asked myself repeatedly that you should ask yourself - is this what you want for the rest of your life? Every evening for the rest of your life your partner will be drunk. They will be unavailable mentally and emotionally (and even physically). You will always be second to his alcohol. ALWAYS. Your mental health will suffer greatly. And for what? To facilitate an addicts lifestyle.

The point to end it is now. Eventually you will get complacent, you'll think it's not so bad because you are conditioned to it. IT IS BAD. It is not normal to drink 7 days a week, I don't care how society tries to normalize it. It isn't healthy and it isn't safe. And drive for the future? Wanting to improve physically, mentally, or in your career is absolutely necessary in a healthy relationship. Your guy seems to have none of these, much like mine.

I tried to leave the week of first lockdown last year but that didn't happen - had bags packed and was planning on living in Airbnb but ya know covid. Now here I am trying to save money to get out and crossing the days off until I think my credit score is high enough to get my own place. There have been times since covid that I almost convince myself to stay. Then I remember I used to be happy and laugh and enjoy life and this dude over here acting like happiness is for losers. Omg he is so miserable - a real Debbie Downer about everything. I don't need someone to make me happy but I sure as hell don't want someone who tries to make me miserable.

You have to do what's right for YOU. I get annoyed with this sub because people always push to breakup but in this case it's true. . . At least in my opinion based on the similarities between our two relationships.

If you need someone to commiserate with send me a dm. It would be nice to chat with someone who can empathize with me. Hope my insight helps you to see the whole picture a bit better.

/r/relationships Thread