You are a canvas of unlimited possibilities. These early moments though sharp and strong are all instances. You seem like a very bright women with self analysis capabilities as well as knowing what’s right and wrong and feeling some type of guilt for wanting to handle things in another way on a second try. Well even though the second try hasn’t happened, when you stand in front of the mirror this morning, YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL MIND BODY AND SOUL. You exist to grow, to overcome, to love, to be loved, and ultimately to feel. Feeling is overwhelming for so many of us, myself included. (6’6 29 year old male thats scared of change and being empty.) but I find I can be my own disabling force. Remember that your building yourself and it takes a lifetime to do so. I know you feel like you are spending your days by yourself or just emotionally by yourself. Feeling of lying to make people thin your okay. It’s just not the way. We must release our emotions and share our truths. I hope your parents can offer that support and if they can’t then I think just going to settings with like minded individuals is a great place. If you like reading, your alone but go to a library alone in the hopes your surrounded by your people and you can find safety and security in that space so you can hopefully grow relationships there. Librarians, volunteering, just being kind to a stranger leading to a new connection.

Seek peace in nature, in reading and in the self reminder when you wake up, when you lay your head back down and the thoughts come flooding in, that you deserve all you’ve every asked for and you