I am dating someone very normal (24M), but I'm sorta a loser (23F) - I'm hung-up on the past

You're not alone, and you're not weird. I've had many of these thoughts before and I'm still overcoming them today (F/28) From 14 to 23 depression, trauma and complex ptsd rearranged the course of my life. Those of us who are processing trauma/depression etc. may not reach the same developmental milestones as our peers because of the journey we're on. And that's okay. You have a lot to be proud of for making it here. And you do not need to have a particular amount of friends nor certain experiences to be worthy of love. You are loveable.

I know what it's like to look at your past and feel embarrassed and ashamed but I want to tell you that you have nothing be ashamed of. Your past self adapted in ways to keep you alive, and here you are still living! Love and accept that teenage girl who was fighting every day to survive. The road you're on is your own, and healing isn't a linear trajectory.

Have you considered/been to therapy before? I would strongly recommend it so that you can process the shame and insecurity you feel over your past self. As well, a therapist can help you find ways to talk about your past in a way that feels safe and appropriate for you. In my experience, being able to disclose my traumas to my partner in an appropriate way made us much closer, although this is something I felt safe enough to do only recently. As well, it let him understand who I am and it felt healing to be seen and accepted.

However, based on what you've said (your boyfriend being weirded out by you not having prior relationships) and the insecurity you feel this may not be a tangible route for you at the moment and that's okay. You can focus on the present and what you'd like to build in the future.

From one formerly suicidal teen to another, you're not too weird or a walking red flag. You're a beautiful, flawed human being ❤

/r/relationships Thread