I am so frustrated by reactions to recent allegations of sexual misconduct.

I keep going back and forth with this Aziz Ansari thing. On the one hand, based on the account in Babe, I don't think he committed a prosecutable crime. On the other hand, also based on the account, he was clearly being a super creep. The whole thing really creeped me out and to be honest I don't see why anyone's creepy but not necessarily illegal behaviour shouldn't be called out in the media. I'd certainly have some stories to tell. I'm sure a lot of women would. I don't know how useful it would be, but if it's the truth why not print it? People get hauled over the social media coals for a lot less these days.

But there's one aspect to "Grace's" story that really troubled me, and I'm not sure how to feel about it. From how the incident is described it seems like she is naked for most of it. Like he undresses her on the kitchen counter and then the repeated oral sex, the "chilling/not chilling on the couch", the "football game", the weird thing with the mirror all take place while they are both naked. I have a couple of thoughts about that.

One is that, though it depends on what Grace was wearing, it's quite difficult to undress someone who doesn't want to be undressed. It's hard to tell from the story how enthusiastically she participated in her own undressing. Was she already frozen and intimidated by this time? There's no suggestion of any force. I mention this because both attackers and defenders of Ansari keep mentioning "non-verbal cues" and in my mind willingly getting naked with someone in their empty apartment is a pretty strong non-verbal cue that you are into having sex at some point. I can't think of any other reason why you would willingly get naked with a near stranger.

/r/GenderCritical Thread