Hey there, No worries :)

I think it's still very subject to personal opinion, as to whether your situation would be viewed as fetishising (Some people feel guilty about their feelings towards trans people, particularly around being bicurious - not sure if this would apply to you though). Personally, I wouldn't say it's too much different than me saying that I'd prefer a woman whose brown haired and slim, or a man whose hairy and is tall for example..so I dont feel that you sound like a douche, even if someone else may have a different opinion on your views :)

My advice for you would be to be honest and up front with what you want from an FtM person, but only if its relevant (it can come across as rude to outright ask people's genital situation when theres not a reason to) but honesty about it is almost always appreciated. If you're wishing to explore more actively then I would say that going on Grindr would be a good idea, as there's now more gender options on there to filter out what you're after a bit better and maybe some FtM people there will be more open about their genital situation as they're more than likely expecting sex/something sexual. Another option would be to look at images/vids of FtM people pre top surgery (if you havnt already) to see if you dont actually mind it too much, as youd probably have more luck finding FtM people who are still pre top surgery.

Sorry if that's a bit rambly, or not quite answered your question..If there's anything I havnt answered properly then I dont mind answering a more specific/another question again :)