I don’t think you’re being selfish, but I do think talking to other people who have disabilities, or genetic disorders can help ease your worries. I have 2 younger sisters, the middle one is 1.5 years younger than me and she has a significant disability that was not found in genetic testing. You cannot predict if your child will develop a mental health disorder later in life by genetic testing either (I.e., schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression). If mental health challenges or Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities is what you’re concerned about then I highly recommend reaching out to people who have family members, or friends with a disability, or talking to someone with a disability. It’s really not all bad. My sister is non-verbal, but she is happy. Her life experience guided me to the profession I am in now. I am a Supported Employment Specialist for individuals with intellectual and developmental disabilities. Some have co-occurring mental health disorders that did not develop until adolescence or adulthood. I help them find competitive and integrative employment in our community. I work with a range of skills, abilities, challenges and interests. Seeing the independence gained and the meaning in their life deepen is invaluable. There are SO many resources and supports, unfortunately they can be difficult to find. My sister is unable to get a job like the others I work with professionally, but despite that she has also found joy in other aspects of her life.

I can’t understand your perspective completely, but I can understand your fear, because I wonder/worry if I will have a child with a disability. Since this has been my whole life though I wouldn’t terminate a pregnancy, I personally couldn’t. I do want you to know that it’s normal and ok to experience that worry and fear.

I also want to be realistic with you and remind you that genetic testing can help you know about some disorders, but it will not guarantee that your child won’t develop mental health/behavioral challenges later in life, have an intellectual or developmental disability, or experience an injury/illness that causes a disability any time after birth.

I do recommend genetic testing if you have a family history of disorders that are fatal, but not if they can live a fulfilling life (albeit, possibly different from the initial expectation you had).