So I see a few things here.

You are not being entitled to want help from family. However, you have to respect her no. It is her right to refuse.

However grandma does not get to say a WORD about missing your child or not having anything to do and being bored. She chose to be bored, she chose to opt out of assistance that would enable her to see your daughter all the time. She chose to opt out of supporting you in a true time of need. She is no longer immediate family. She is extended family. She has shown you that you and your child are not priority. And that’s her right.

So while I would say you are not the JustNO unless you continue to ask her, I would also recommend that every single time she uses those complaints against you, you remind her that it is the direct result of her choices.

I think it’s time for grandma to be on an info diet. Do not complain or vent to her. If she draws a comparison between your situations, I think you can and should remind of all the family help she received and how long she received it.

I also think that you now owe her literally zero accommodation. But she wants to see DD soooooo bad this weekend? Tough shit, that’s your only time with your kid and you are too tired to bring her. But she can come to youuuuuu? No thanks, she’s made it clear you need to take care of yourselves. You’ll let her know when a visit is convenient. But she’s borrrrred? Must be nice, enjoy it to the fullest, Mom.

She doesn’t get it both ways.