It's more about the expectations. I spent years reading fantasy books where I could afford to be "mindless".

When I started Malazan however, I understood how being attentive and careful is important. It also made the books more enjoyable. Still, bakker was too much for me and after I have read the first 3 books I was ambivalent towards them...only on a reread (and a year later) did I really appreciate what he is doing.

I recommend 3 options, first just read more books, in time your tastes will mature and maybe you can give it another shot. If you decide to read it, accept that knowing everything is not part of the deal. Bakker will allude to certain things and events but you won't "get it" on a first reread, so be prepared for a second. The most important advice is a simple one. Just read carefully. Be like a detective, try to figrure out what is happening. After each chapter or scene, there's no shame in just stoping and thinking about it, maybe read some things again...

if you don't like it, then maybe it's not for you. Or maybe it's not the right moment, dont' worry too much .