Thanks. He's not an alcoholic, I know about everything that he's doing in terms of drugs. I'm unraveling pretty well from codependency, I think. I don't even talk about him in therapy anymore; not because I'm avoiding it, but because I feel like there's a lot more that I need to focus on. I'm getting great at saying "it's not my problem" and moving on when thoughts pop up about what he's doing, who he's doing, or if he's being safe. I don't need to set boundaries with him because I don't interact and plan on blocking him on everything when we get divorced. Not trying to be contrary, I just see your concerns and they're my concerns too.

I don't want to go to AlAnon meetings at this point, but I am getting ready to enroll in an intensive partial hospitalization program that includes groups for things like trauma, abuse, and addiction. I'm doing therapy once a week and separating from his circle of friends and building really healthy, mutually awesome friendships on my own with sober people who are really supportive, loving, and kind. As far as filing, I'm trying to be civil because I still believe that he's a person and is/has been in a lot of emotional + mental pain, but I am prepared to do this on my own if he does not respond to me this weekend. My family is going to help me pay for it even if I end up having to get a lawyer.