Hey I'm sorry you're going through this. I understand that pain of having your close friends not really know what's going on. It's funny in my group of friends because I think most of us appreciate what it feels like to be in those depressive slumps but everytime we hang out we just joke around and never talk about anything serious. I know I've had times where I'd be hanging out with my friends and I'd go to the bathroom to cry for a couple of minutes and come back like nothing happened. So I understand it's hard opening this dialogue with your friends. I haven't really done this myself. I do talk about this with one of my friends and when i do I'm always glad I have someone to share these feelings with. Maybe you could try talking more about this with your friend? Or maybe you can look into any services your school provides? I know group therapy helped a bit when I was in school. I'm sorry if this isn't really helpful or if you've already tried these avenues. I'm sorry you're hurting j know it sucks. Hopefully things get better for both of us.