I have considered what you've said, and what others have said, at great length. And just to be frank, I am a married woman and I moderate one of those "other subs" with the helpful advice, so I think I am probably the antichrist in the view of people who post here. Which is fine with me, and you'll see I don't post here for that reason.

You write:

For the purposes of this post, I will be assuming that all of you come here with good or neutral intentions: you either want to help incels, or you want to mess around.

Yes, you're getting those two groups for sure. All over the place. And some people are fucking hostile in weird ways.

But I don't think that's what is drawing your zoo exhibition crowd, the kick-him-when-he's down brigade, and the "have you tried being less awful" advice givers. It is that I had to read about 20-50 posts here before I could figure out a simple fact: what DO you want. You outline in clear detail what you don't. You don't want to hear from normies, you don't want helpful advice, you don't want to pick fights and wage war...so what are you doing here? I mean, what are you getting out of it? It's not a support group because you don't want support. "There, there, it gets better" is mocked. You don't want therapy, advice, commiseration, anything. You're not here to attract women to speak to, even conversationally, because you basically put women on blast the minute they post. You're not even trying to convince other men that their plight is hopeless.

So, to my mind, you need a better statement of purpose. Just from a moderation perspective as to the purpose here. To my mind, this is a place for people who have independently decided that they are hopeless causes to commiserate with the like minded. They might wish/hope/aspire to changing, but they aren't expecting it and don't want help on that path. And they don't want to hear from outsiders, period. Because, if they did, they'd have 1001 other subs to ask; normies abound. "Let's all feel shitty together because it feels less bad than feeling shitty alone" seems to be the mission statement. And, right on, that's fine and you're not alone in that goal.

But the nature of a sub like this IS to attract drama llamas, the helpfulness police, and trolololols.

So, I'd update the sidebar. You need to make a statement about what this place is for. I think if people understood that better they'd stop trying to pet the feral cat or set it on fire.

Just a thought...