I so get what you mean. (TW: SH, Suicide)

Just yesterday, I was so overwhelmed and begging my gf to calm down as something on my phone triggered an ?anxiety attack or traumatic attack.

Her words hurt me a lot and after repeated attempts to ask her to calm down, I broke down. Hit my head against the cupboard and started having suicidal thoughts, plans until I eventually jumped onto the ledge. I spoke to my therapist right after and calmed down. She left the house earlier.

She told a friend and he said that my "suicide attempt" was emotional blackmail. I just can't be ok at that moment and that's what my mind / body reacts. I just needed her to stop.

It was too painful. There are more pain later but yeah, I am not manipulative