Your pain is valid and don’t let anyone tell you it’s not. Now that said, it will be a hard and lonely road to walk if you can’t grow to accept some porn because, right or wrong, it is here to stay and is ubiquitous. Your best option is to find someone that prioritizes you over porn whenever possible. Someone who if given a choice, would 10/10 times rather have a real-life encounter with you, than look at porn. It seems your current partner is crossing that boundary somewhat, leaving you feeling rejected. If your current partner can’t use more disgression and accept your hurt feelings then you would probably be better off looking elsewhere rather than living with the constant disappointment, pain, and anxiety that it brings.