I feel for them, but what can you do. I'm very much like Hanzi, except I wasn't diagnosed til I was 38 and by that time my family hated me.

Most people don't consider mental illness a real illness. I've suffered from schizophrenia and ocd my entire life. When people find out I'm disabled, the first thing they do is look at me and call me lazy. Looking able and begin able are two different things.

Fact is, I'm not lazy. I've held a job before. I really fucking wish I could have things like a life, career, and friends, but guess what, I can't. Most of the time, I'm lucid and know that the stuff my brain tells me isn't real, it's just paranoia. And then that little misfire in my brain happens and I do things and end up wifeless, jobless, and in trouble.

I tried to fit into society before, but it doesn't work. I one time made it three years without having an incident, thought maybe I had it under control. Had a good job, was engaged somehow, and everything was looking super. The worst thing I ever had to hear was the woman I cared most about in the world tell me she loved me but couldn't be with me because of lying about what is inside of me.

There isn't a magical cure. You don't go to a therapist and get cured. You don't take a pill and get cured. You fight back the symptoms and suffer the rest of your life. Normal people just can't get it.