Internet stranger, it's ok to want and need social connection! It's part of being human, so congratulations on being a normal human. Social anxiety is really difficult. There's really good treatments for it. I'm not trying to push anything on you, just reminding you that your social anxiety is due to real, measurable differences in your brain. Brains are organs. Organs do weird things. Luckily those real, measurable differences have equally real, scientific, medical treatments. In short your struggle is entirely valid, u/Ok_Cook, and I hate to think of you suffering when so many helpful things exist! Please know this internet stranger believes you and cares about your wellbeing. It's ok (normal!) to pursue medical help for medical illnesses, and social anxiety totally counts. It's also ok to rely on your broader community for support. Anytime you feel like you need trained crisis support, the crisis text line is 741741 in the US and they're rad (I'm also happy to help you locate international crisis supports). And anytime you need a pep talk or someone to vent to, please know I am around! Sending you love and light.