Thanks for your reply. Yes, autopaedophile is probably the closest thing, however it's not so much about the actual age aspect, rather about the purity and innocence that follows. I want it to be truly authentic, and if only I actually were younger, I wouldn't have to dress up or pretend. But if I were actually younger it would obviously be wrong objectively seen - also that would be impossible, naturally... so it's difficult
I know dd/lg very well but cannot help feeling that it's "fake" to some extent - I don't want to be a dressed up adult, I want for my partner to actually see me as an innocent and pure girl. Also dd/lg is often about diaper/pacifier/playground/colorbook/plushie-things that are way too young compared to my focus. It's not about the loss of responsibilities that I am looking for, it's about the pure innocence that you might see in for example in an innocent schoolgirl roleplay. There is something called "middles" in the dd/lg scene though, which would mean that I am of a more "middle" age (14 or so?)... I just find it very hard to like pretending. I don't want my partner to think I pretend, I want to truly be and look the part and for my partner to truly see me as the part.
Concerning negative feelings, envy is more of a problem in regard to myself, not them - because like unattractive people might compare themselves to attractive people and feel bad about it, I feel bad about comparing myself to actual young girls. It makes me feel bad about myself, but just like people can work on becoming more attractive I can work on at least looking "younger" and thereby become more happy with my appearance.