am i wasting my time? should i stick around or leave?

You're living in a literal fantasy. "Meeting" online is fine. Talking and getting to know each other online is fine. Sensing a deeper connection and wanting to explore the possibility of an actual relationship online is fine. But talking about marriage and children and your futures together before you've even met in person is completely unrealistic and--I hate to say it, but it's true--an extremely immature attitude towards this relationship. You say you do everything you do in a committed relationship. Except, y'know, actually be in a committed relationship.

The most relevant thing you said is "he tells me I'm important to him yet his actions don't reflect that." Precisely. It's a cliche' but it's true: actions speak louder than words. Anyone can say "I love you". They're just words. Anyone can play at "we're going to get married and have babies and live in this city, etc." And that's exactly what this reminds me of. Two kids playing house.

You even acknowledge that there is red flag after red flag after red flag but you're still holding onto hope that this is real? You need to get your head out of the clouds and your feet on the ground and start looking at this from a grown-up perspective. You have to meet in person. That's absolutely non-negotiable. Then you start to explore whether there is any realistic chance for a future with this guy. So far, all you're doing is creating a fantasy and trying to force this situation to fit into it.

/r/relationship_advice Thread