Am I in the wrong for not wanting anyone to be there for the ultrasounds/birth?

This is why I hesitate to give advice online. My internal dialogue on how I'd approach your situation was predicated on my personal experience, and from your original post it seemed like we were coming from very similar places. Now I see this comment and everything gets turned on its head. My wife and I set boundaries for my MIL (almost exactly as you have) early in her pregnancy. When she accepted them without question, my wife and I were not only surprised, but far more amenable to having her be a part of the process in the future. We decided to let her come to the final ultrasound and ultimately to the actual birth. Having her there turned out to be an overwhelmingly positive experience.

If you had told my wife or I that we'd have family present for for either the birth or ultrasound, I'm sure we'd look at you like you were off your tits. Now we wouldn't have had it any other way.

Your MIL sounds like a proper piece of work. I'm sorry all of this happened to you and to your wife. I don't know what I'd do if I were in your shoes, but I think the other poster had the right idea - establish a solid boundary as soon as you can. Nothing trips up a habitual line stepper like a firm and resolute "no". Emotional manipulators have a hard time shopping that story around for sympathy points... Don't worry over the family politics or the fallout. Everyone is likely tired of her antics.

/r/predaddit Thread Parent