Am I wrong for not telling my children that I’m dying?

Okay it won’t let me comment on her post so I’m just writing under yours. Thanks noobiz3!

SO. I am a 21 year old man. My mom died when I was 8. My siblings knew she had cancer but didn’t know how bad. I was so young I didn’t even know wtf cancer was. My parents made the decision to not tell us that our mom was dying with stage 4 breast cancer. I knew mommy was sick and i noticed her getting weaker and weaker, but I personally didn’t think anything of it. Mommy is gonna be fine. Eventually mommy couldn’t stay home with us and stayed with her momma instead. (Why she stayed there and not home? I do not know but I’m sure there was a reason for it) One day my dad sits me and my siblings down on the couch. He says “mommy is in the hospital right now. She’s going to go to heaven soon” I remember us little kids screaming curse words and yelling, not at anyone in particular, but just at the situation. My dad encouraged it actually. Looking back on it that was kinda funny. But I don’t remember when but maybe a couple days later we go to the hospital. I remember it so fucking clearly. My brother and sister go in first , I’m right behind them, and my dad right behind me. There’s a bunch of other family members in the room. My brother and sister start balling and crying and run over to mommy. I’m confused as all fuck. My 8 year old self was like “yo why tf they crying daddo?” He told me “it’s cuz she’s hooked up to all these machines” I was like “Oh okay!” But me being the smart lil 8 year old I read the room. Something was off.. mommy’s not okay. So I walk over to mommy jump on the bed and lay beside her as she grabs my hand. An hour later she dies. My dad starts crying and tells me and my siblings to come to him as he hugs us and everyone is crying except me. I didn’t know wtf just happened. And this is the part where I have always regretted. I keep asking some dumb ass fuckin questions to my dad that aren’t even related to wtf just happened. I’m like “whose gonna take us to school now?” And “how are we gonna get money now” I fuckin hate myself for that shit. I should’ve just cried too and hugged my family. Anyways,

Okay I’m rlly sorry. I did not mean to write all that but I’ve never told someone this before and it’s quite therapeutic, but I also hope it helps you too.

In my opinion I am so glad that my parents did not tell us what was happening. We lived our lives normally until she passed. If they told us, what’s the point? We are just gonna try to fill up time that can realistically never be filled and instead of spending happy time with our mom we would be spending sad time and pretending like it’s happy time. You know what I mean? I loved my mom and she loved me and that’s all your children need to know. Now, if you do feel like you need to tell them then do it. Either way they love you and you love them. That’s all that fuckin matters.

/r/offmychest Thread Parent