As an ABC i think it's not society's fault but rather the family's fault

Agreed that family plays an essential role in children's formation of confidence and whether they can cut it in the society, but I don't think your problems are specific to Asians or Asian parents. Having traveled a lot and met many people of different races, I'd say parents who are open minded, competent and supportive tend to be rare, which is logical since 90% of the people on this world are just ordinary, average beings who have to deal with this and that without a strong support or networks provided by family. Those who do it well, have it easy in life are mostly elites.

I've visited many white families and I've seen many white parents are just as rude, impatient, authofitarian and short-sighted as "typical" Asian parents could be. One of my exs' mother (French) i.e. never said anything positive to her and denied constantly her achievements. She's been living with her father since her parents divorce but her father treats her without much patience or tolerance either. She told me once she didn't have any self-esteem.

I suggest you look at things in a more positive way. Now that you're aware of your problems and their causes, you're already ahead of most people who are unaware and never stop being a lifelong sidekick. Choose something you're interested in, make a plan with objectives to be achieved in different phases. When you make achievements and progress, you can feel your confidence and self-esteem coming back.

/r/AsianMasculinity Thread