My social anxiety is exactly like the one portrayed in the video. Anytime I have to do anything, I automatically default to thinking that I will fuck it up, and then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy and I do fuck up. This becomes a feedback loop that reenforces itself. Get called on in class? "What if I get it wrong? Everyone will think I'm an idiot." Class presentation? "Nope."

It doesn't help that my anxiety manifests itself physically, where I my hands shake violently and my voice trembles. Once that happens, I know that they know I am extremely anxious and generally a weak person. When I get anxiety, I get a huge adrenaline rush that makes me want to run as fast as I can away from the situation, preferably home to lie in bed and go on my computer all day.

I took an intro to CS class this fall and since I had programmed before, I knew most of the material and was pretty confident that I knew the material. I would STILL get shaky as hell at the beginnings of exams. Once I couldn't figure out what I had done wrong in a program I wrote(turned out to be something minor), and my professor wanted me to do something on my computer while he watched me, and I couldn't. I was shaking so much that I couldn't even type on my computer(spot-light effect). I get nervous when I have to write in front of people. Like, what the hell.

The weird thing is when I was younger I was a pretty outgoing guy. A kinda class-clown that had a lot of friends. Then once I hit 17-18 it all changed like a switch was flipped. Anxiety keeps me from doing a vast majority of the things that I want to do.

Now, I self medicated with alcohol and various other downers like GABA that only make it worse.

Fuck it sucks. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.