However, you're correct in that you're the one exposed to it - I would be hesitant about remaining in a relationship with somebody who's happy to have you handle their literal shit every weekend, while keeping you in the dark about it. It may be that he's too embarrassed to talk about, but it gives the impression that he doesn't consider you as an equal.

I'm beginning to feel that way, yes. I don't need to know his masturbatory habits, that's none of my business. But when the literal shitty evidence of it becomes my problem to clean up, and he won't discuss it, then yes the thought has crossed my mind that it's some kind of bizarre power play? IDK.

Thanks for your response.