It is unfair, but that's the hand they've been dealt. It is not wage theft. They aren't doing 2 people's worth of labor.

It’s absolutely wage theft. They’re teaching two classes. Even if they weren’t it’s still two people teaching.

Here's a better analogy than your "cut you in half" one.

Not even remotely better.

Say they're regular twins. Not conjoined. One gets the same exact job (not jobs) they have now. Teach one class at a time, and the other just follows them around. They alternate which one teaches classes throughout the day. There isn't a second teacher's assistant position. One salary or two?

Well if they were regular twins they would could teach separate classes. But if for some reason they couldn’t, like I don’t know they were conjoined and had to undergo a very tough hardship at no fault of their own then they shouldn’t be punished for it and both get a salary because they’re two different fucking people. That’s it. 2 people, 2 teachers, 2 degrees, 2 salaries.

That’s the right answer. Anything else is cold, uncaring douchery. Put some old bay on yourself son, cause you’ve just been served up. Fuck outta here with that hyper-capitalist nonsense.