Ancap Kindergarten

Ancap here with 3 kids. Thought I would give perspective on this.

We've taught them that if they don't want to share, it's ok and we've never made them share.

The youngest (3) has independently figured out sharing on his own, and that sharing makes people want to be around him and play with him. At the same time he's very protective of his little wooden construction vehicles, and doesn't let anyone else touch them.

The next oldest (6) we've expanded a bit and said "just because someone wants something, that doesn't mean you should feel bad if you don't want to give it to them." Here again, there are certain things she shares (for example when eating in a group she will give her food to those with less or none), but certain things she doesn't share. We feel that kids having a strong sense of ownership of things that are important to them means they're paradoxically less materialistic and possessive.

The eldest (11) we've also not ever enforced sharing, but when asked why she insists we volunteer at the homeless shelter as part of her homeschool plan, she says "helping makes me feel good." We also emphasize that charity can help us feel closer to others and empathize with them should we ever less fortunate ourselves. (Eldest also takes part in running our small family foundation, she double checks the books.)

We've never praised them for not sharing. But I have felt a surge of pride when the neighbor's bratty 7yo screamed "SHARE!" at our middle one while pointing at her favorite toy and he was completely nonplussed when she said "No." He looked at me for help and I shrugged. Then about 10 minutes later she walked over and gave it to him when she was done playing, and I was proud of her all over again.

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