First off. Breathe! It's okay! I understand how you feel.. its a break in trust, the sanctity of marriage, and maybe just plain disgusting. But holy shit is watching p it ever normal. This is an issue that you really need to research. It has nothing.. nothing to do with you!!! Porn is designed to get people excited. Its bad but its a real addiction - same like a drug. Every man watches it (exaggerating but still mostly true). Im married and I watch it and my wife, i guess luckily lol, is relatively ok with it. In my situation I told her straight up if we cant have sex or you are not in the mood im doin it on my own. She got super mad once cuz I watched porn over her when nobody else was home. So that right there was my bad and I truly messed up and paid for it. But at this point the only reason I would like to stop is cuz it is like an addiction. Every once in a while I just have to have my own zen moment.. yes euphemism

The hard headed expectation you have is only gonna lead to suffering - look how much this messed up your night. Is it a perception issue? Maybe you are afraid looking like the wife of a husband that likes to do that? Nobody is perfect. I guarantee that to your husband its a quick boost of excitement and its gone out of his mind. Probably cant rememb the last vid he saw.

Its 2018.. the world is more complicated than ever...all the good men are turning gay .. if yall have no other significant issues be thankful you got a good man who will die for you. You should tell his dumb ass he owes u one. Big time! And when the time comes make sure he pays for it.