I always knew I could die and that's never been a concern when doing reckless things. I try to avoid being hurt and putting myself I'm danger but I'll often just go "fuck it" and do something stupid.

If I die, I die. I can die at literally any time. The universe could end tomorrow with no warning, a rock could get kicked up by a truck and fly through my brain, someone could pull a gun out and end me walking to work just because they felt like it. I know how easy it is to die, so why would I waste my life fearing it?

But as with a lot of my actions, that's only the explanation I give because it's one that fits. Some things I don't really have an explanation for. I just want to do it - so I do.

I drive safe because I understand the law. I escaped drug related charges with a slap on the wrist and ever since I have followed the law to a T. My personal freedom is the most important thing in this world and I will not hold it in such loose regard again.

I wouldn't consider myself empty minded. In fact I'd consider myself the opposite. As a teenager I'd frequently question if everyone thought as much as I do. "It feels like everyone else just does but I'm constantly thinking, I wish I could just shut my brain off so I could fit in" would be a common thought.

As an adult it's the key to my success. Constantly considering all possibilities, all possible actions and what the result to those actions can be. I'm not perfect, but for the most part, I'm very pleased with my thought process.

So here's where the arrogance comes in, many would claim it's narcissistic traits but I'm yet to be proven wrong.

I've always felt as though most people are stupid. Stupid rituals, stupid beliefs - as you say, a complete lack of logic. A complete lack of being able to see the reality of our current existence.

People get so caught up in their emotions all day. "What if" holds them back constantly. I don't ask "what if". Instead I say "let's see"

They feel better for things that don't change anything, this thread is evidence of that. Feeling attached to a cat.. something so easy to replace. It makes no sense.

So I often feel as if I am smarter than most, more intelligent, more capable, more attractive.

I try being humble. I have a very low opinion of those with narcissistic personalities. Their insecurities ooze.

So most know me as humble, someone who doesn't enjoy being complimented due to said humbleness. It's only inside my mind the narcissism exists.

I still try to tone it down. I've seen arrogance become the downfall of many. I've also had many successes due to being underestimated.

I try to acknowledge that everyone I meet has something to teach me and I am always respectful of that, I'm the first to admit a lack of knowledge.

But it goes to my head and my ego swells.

How can I not think I'm more intelligent than my peers when I've been the top performer in every job I've undertaken?

How can I not become arrogant when I'm constantly complimented?

When I'm constantly everyone's favourite? When those who don't like me are easily alienated from those who do?

Whenever anyone tries to bring a complaint against me, it backfires.

People assume they're crazy, they're over - reacting, they're jealous, they always tell me "you're probably better at this than me" "You're great, I don't understand how you do it" "I wish I could be more like you"

And always I find it humorous, because they can be exactly like me. They're just chained down by their emotions. Other than their mental barrier and a fear of consequence - we're know different.

And I suppose I'm good with people, which is funny considering my lack of desire and respect for them.

That's one I've never understood. I know that I am good with manipulating people, I've just never understood why.

I'm thankful I've met so much success in my life and as I said - as much as I try to tone down the arrogance in my mind, it's difficult to do so when I've found these successes.

And yes, of course I write here as I see things without giving a fuck. I do the same in real life as well. Caring about others opinions is another stupid thing people do.

Unless it's an impediment to my goals, people can think whatever they want. Everything is personal perception, what's "acceptable" to one won't be acceptable to another so why care about anyone's opinion? Of course, that's only when those opinions will have an effect on your goals.

I don't know why I write so much here though. I did stop at one point because I had another outlet.

It's the equivalent to journalling in a way I guess but journalling always feels pointless without feedback.

It gives my mind an outlet when I've got nothing else to do.