Announcing leaks from /r/Centuryclub

Okay, this happened yesterday, but I couldn't bring myself to post about it until now. So yesterday afternoon I was downstairs playing vidya, when I got the urge to spank the monkey. The only person home was my mom, who was upstairs working. I fired up some porn for a bit, but I realized I didn't have any tissues or paper towels to use. I didn't feel like getting up to go get some, so I looked around and saw that there was a cheap washcloth nearby. "Oh, that's perfect. I'll use that," I thought. It was thicker and softer and made clean up pretty nice. When I was done I cautiously went upstairs, made sure the coast was clear, and tossed it in the kitchen trashcan (like I've done for years with tissues or paper towels). Now I wasn't just going to leave a washcloth full of my jizz on top in plain view, obviously, so I pushed it towards the bottom and made sure it was covered. Thinking mission was accomplished, I went up to my room to relax. Not five minutes later, my mom knocks on my door and comes in. I turn around, horrified. She's holding the cheap washcloth full of my jizz in her hand. My heart stops. WHAT THE FUCK. WHAT THE ACTUAL LIVING FUCK. Somehow, she was digging through the trash and saw it, and pulled it out. I remain calm on the outside though. Priority number 1: get it out of her fucking hands. "Why did you throw this washcloth away?" she asks. "It's perfectly good, we can just wash it and reuse it." (It was an old, cheap washcloth that wasn't being used anyway. There's no point in keeping it) I effortlessly reply, "I had a runny nose and didn't have anything to blow my nose on, so I used it, and then it just felt gross so I threw it out." I knew she would buy that. I told her I would take care of it because it was my boogers inside of it, and as quickly as possible without seeming suspicious I grabbed it out of her hands. My heart has been pounding this entire time She pushed back, "Honey, I'll wash it for you. I don't mind." She held out her hand for my jizz, and like hell I'm going to give it back to her. "It's fine, really. It's my boogers so I'll take care of it." I say. She says "ok" and finally leaves. I just stayed in my room for 20 minutes with the jizz cloth, not even knowing what to do with it. Okay, story over. Now, rant time: WHAT THE FUCKING HELL MOM. IT WAS IN THE TRASH

IT WAS IN THE FUCKING TRASH. IT WAS BASICALLY AT THE BOTTOM OF THE TRASH CAN. WHY IN GOD'S NAME WOULD YOU GO DIGGING THROUGH THE TRASH JUST TO PICK IT OUT?

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST

What the actual fuck. I'm pretty sure I'm never going to masturbate again after this. Sorry for the wall of text, this turned out to be much longer than I thought it would. Fucking hell. I am not going to miss my parents when I leave for college

/r/undelete Thread