I really just can't understand it at all.

Imagine you're playing a game or a sport or something and you suck and want to get better at it. Do you join groups of people that also suck at the game to complain about other competent players, discuss "strategies" that definitely don't work, and just in general wallow in how terrible you all are? Or do you watch tutorials on things that we know work, practice, and hit the gym as needed?

Seems super obvious to me. I don't understand why people who identify this way can't seem to figure out something so simple.

In short: git gud. If they have the internet connection to join those shitty forums, they have the resources to actually improve themselves.