Does that contradict with "fake it till you make it", then? Because when I was a student in university, that was basically how I built a social circle at all.

I always had a slightly quirky sense of humour, but I turned it up to 11 to fit in. And because people found me to be funny /upbeat / approachable, I was able to make loads of new friends, and even got to date a girl for close to 3 years (I honestly thought I'd never get to experience a relationship - I'm not exactly a looker). It was basically a massive confidence boost, and I got it by faking confidence in the first place. My personality was somewhat manufactured, but I kept it up because it made me feel "good".

It's now been a couple of years since I started working. I'm single again now, and of the friendships I made back then, I only have a handful of them that I've been in recent close contact with.

The "upbeat and approachable" me of several years ago seems almost like a stranger now. I spend most of my time brooding or tapering off my sentences by mumbling. The falsely-confident version of me seems a vast improvement over my current, more genuine state :|