UPDATE!

Yesterday we went to the barbecue with her friends. Everybody liked me, "we" were a happy bunch of drunk people.

But the entire time i was drinking there was this feeling. I was not drinking because i wanted to drink, i was drinking to fit my girlfriend's life and to fit her social circle. I was not happy, but i managed to be a good guy there and they liked me. The thing is... i didn't really like everything.

I was drunk (almost puked), but some portion of my brain was deeply aware of the shit i was into. They started becoming annoying, loud, talking the entire time. This is not what i want to be anymore, this is not my idea of happiness.

My girlfriend got really drunk. It's less than one month since she got the surgery and she drank like there's no tomorrow and when she drinks she literally chain smokes (she is not a smoker when sober). I hate it.

I can't be in my girlfriend's life, i can't fit with her and her friends and be sober. Hell, i can't even fit with 95% of my friends sober. Why i should fit with a bunch of drunks that i don't even know? And there i was trying to be part of something i don't like anymore.

EVERY COUPLE THERE WERE DRINK LIKE BEER AND TEQUILA WAS FREAKING WATER. Every single one was drunk, it's a enabling dynamic.

We got to her house after and i was sick. Dizzy, almost puking. I told her that i can't do this anymore and we need to split. She said that she can stop drinking with me, but she said that before and i don't want her too. It doesn't work, she really doesn't want to, since she said to me that she doesn't have a problem and can control and be an occasional drinker (right, i pointed out that it's obviously that she can't even after she had surgery).

I know her, she will keep saying she is going to stop with me because she doesn't want to lose me. But she will be miserable.

Another thing i didn't say to you guys, but her father is an alcoholic (almost died of liver disease, got sober but went right back to drinking when cured). When i point out the fact that she is an alcoholic and her mother is an enabler, she says that they're happy.

THEY FIGHT A LOT! THIS IS NOT HAPPINESS.

I'm really lost now because i know we were drunking last night and the talk about ending the relationship won't stick. Next weekend we got a wedding and she is the bridesmaid.

I can't make her miserable in less than one week from the event and make her go there alone.