Another woman asked if I was single. I am...conflicted

I may be a woman, but please know that I feel for you. I understand what you’re going through because I’ve been through it myself. I’ve fallen in love many times- so far 2 guys cheated on me. Another guy was an abusive, narcissistic chameleon. Another a pathological liar. The one I loved the most turned out to be married and definitely not leaving his wife. Each told me how much they cared, each treated me like absolute shit and pommelled my self esteem deeper into the dirt. Year after shitty year I got played and stabbed in the back by people I genuinely cared about and opened up to.

I know that it’s hard to believe that things will turn out OK in the end. Confidence doesn’t come from deluding yourself that everything will be OK. It comes from falling on your face a million times then getting back up every single damn time, even if you had to spend a few months in misery. Knowing that you will be OK because you know how to make things OK, that you are stronger than what the world throws at you.

I know that you’re afraid. You’re right! the next girl could definitely expect you to be superman then be disappointed that you’re not. Guess what- she’s just not the one for you and you’ll just have to move on. Your heart is going to be broken again and again and each time it’s going to hurt and you’re going to feel broken and unfixable.

But one day, after all of the heartbreak, when you decide to be good to yourself, someone will see you and you will be glad you have them a chance. Even now, after going through so many bad dating experiences I still have trouble believing that good men exist. And then I look at my boyfriend and marvel at how he has shown me every day what it means to be a good person, what it feels like to love someone and be loved back.

Don’t act hopeful- BE hopeful. Don’t pretend everything will be fine, DO what you need to do to live the fulfilled and happy life you want. Take steps towards being the person you want to be and if you fail, good!! That just means you need to try again and learn from your mistakes.

Fear cannot stop you. Use it to motivate you. You are a good person and worrying about these women who aren’t the one for you is holding you back.

/r/exredpill Thread Parent