It's your friend ... understand me? ... your friend, Eric. You know what

I'm talking about. I'm on here for one time with a night cap on. I'm going to tell

you a story about Anthony Fantano. You know what I'm saying. He's been

my best friend since the beginning. So basically I met him off instagram. They

always ask me about this. I followed him and he gave me a quick follow

back. He wrote to me in a direct message saying you're alright by me, you're

funny, and basically he respects my work and I respect his work. We

often keep in touch. So he's preparing for a trip a couple of months

ago. I am in Jacksonville, Florida, and he is in Miami. He came to

Jacksonville and greeted me via telephone. He asked me, "What are you

doing tonight?" I said, "I am at the house and am with a Female." So I'm

on the phone with him, trying not to arouse suspicion from the female,

as if I have to tiptoe through the hotel, understand? I don't want her

to think her boyfriend is a homosexual. But he asked, "What are you doing

tonight?" I told him there is Art Walk tonight, which is basically a

wall of art in downtown Jacksonville. We could go down there and

appreciate art and stuff, there is basketball down there.

Friends, that was when I decided to do it. So I hung up. But then I'm

thinking, "I have sex on one hand, and I have Anthony on the other hand.

Which one should I pick? I pick my friend Anthony!" Understand? Some

kids like to go with older kids. I like to go with my bald headed

friend. Understand? So I thought, I'm going to go with my friend.

Because have I already had sex. I have already been out there doing the

"Butterfly stroke in the ocean," if you catch my drift. If I had to give

the experience a rating, I would give it a strong 2 to a light 3,

understand? But kids, always wear a condom. You know you have to wear a

condom. You know what I am talking about. I paid attention in school.

Have safe sex unless you want to catch an STD. You don't want to feel

that burning sensation down there. You cannot trust every body around

here. All the ladies and gentlemen out there, even if you are a virgin you

can catch an STD. You don't want that. So anyway, I told my girlfriend I'm

going to call her later. She cleared out of the house and I went over.

So I dressed up, put on the sharpest clothes, and got in the car with

Anthony.

We're talking and hanging out and then I think, "darn, I need to go run

an errand at 45 Murder Avenue. If you don't know where that is you are

not from Jacksonville. That is actually a very dangerous area. Dangerous

people are in control of the area. So I said, "I have to go."

He replied, "Why Eric?"

"I have to get marijuana. I have to relax." I didn't need to explain it

to him. As we go, he plays Death Grips, "I've Seen Footage" loudly. If

you're in this area playing Death Grips at a high volume, you are

white, and it is a song called "I've Seen Footage" you might as well say

"Hello, I am the Police! Get all your drugs out so I can arrest you!"

That is what that means, understand? So I told him, "you need to turn

that down." And I wasn't even thinking, the men that I am buying from,

are Black Hebrew Israelites and also criminals. It is so confusing. The

man will want to sell you cocaine, and then he wants to sell you an idea

on why you need to hate the white man. What you are selling is the color

white, and you also wan't me to hate white? I'm confused, do you

understand me? This type of person, will sell you a whole ounce of

cocaine and then say, "Hey listen, at least I'm doing it and not the

white man. You know?" I just say, "hey brother, give me my drugs and I

can leave!" The men are so confusing. So, forgetting that Anthony is

white, I walk in. I didn't think about it.

Basically, I knock on the door with the usual knock. They know who it

is.

They open the door and ask, "What's good with you, brother Eric?" And

then I walk in and they stopped me, and asked angrily, "brother Eric,

who is this Jacobean?!" I thought, oh no. The man is so confusing. He

has an image of black Jesus on one wall, and then on the next wall, he has

50 cent with a bulletproof vest on. What in black power? He has black

Jesus and goddamned 50 cent with his shirt off ...friend, choose one.

Anyway, I sigh, "oh man," and I say, "He is cool, you boys don't even

need to mess with him." That's when one of his friends yells, "He looks

green to me."

For those of you that don't know this, green definitely means lame, a

square. Understand? I told them he is not like that, he's a cool little

white dude. Understand? I had him demonstrate one of these. (Black power

signs) But he didn't know how to do it. He did one of these (backwards

fists) like Uncle Sam. He was messing up already. The men are side-eyeing

him already. So basically we're making small talk, he gave me

my drugs, I paid him, and he gave me another speech and stuff. He said,

"now I hope you went to the million man march." I said, "Brother, I'm

not even twenty." I told him my dad went to the million man march 20-

30 years ago. This man is on some bad drugs, understand? Why can't

he just give me my drugs so I can leave. So as soon as we are about to

walk out of the door. Anthony just couldn't keep the reviewer inside of

him. So all you hear is, "Eric, I'm going to have to rate this pack a

light 4 to a strong 5." I sighed, oh man. They said, "What did you say,

square?" I sighed, oh man. So they look at him and said, "man, grab

him!" So they grabbed him and they put him in a choke hold. I'm

wondering what is going on. He has his "demon jit" ...it's an older dude

and it's a younger dude... he has his demon jit on Anthony. A demon jit,

that's a young little gangster. So he has got his younger gangster on

Anthony, he's got him in a "cobra clutch" like the Iron Sheik. I didn't

know what to do because I thought I had my AK-47, but I didn't even have

that. I had left it at the house. Oh man. So he has him in a cobra

clutch and I'm telling you the next thing that came out of my mouth

surprised me. I am talking about Anthony, bro. This fat man picked him

up, flipped him on his back, did a back flip, and did then did a

police roll behind the couch. I am shocked and confused. I've never seen

anybody that fat do a back flip like that.

This guy is fat and a vegan. I'm thinking in my head, "How does this

person have so much meat on him, but doesn't eat any meat?" Anyway, he's

behind the couch, I run behind the couch. Anthony took out his .45

caliber handgun and said, "yeah Eric it's dead." I said, "It's dead?" I

am shocked. I thought, youtube is giving this man money and guns? What in

white priviledge? He is a god among men. So he jumps out from behind the

couch does another police roll and said, "freeze green-ass sucka!" I'm

wondering who told him this. All you heard was gunshot sounds. He shot

the dealer in both shoulders so that he did the "Harlem shake", fell

down, he shot the younger gangster, he fell down, Anthony picked up the drugs, and

ran out. I ran out with him. We peeled out. He played "I've Seen

Footage" loudly. I didn't care what he played. He could have played,

"The Best of Elton John" and I would have been fine with it. My friend,

killed a young gangster, and he killed his older friend, understand? I can't

say any names for it might incriminate me, the fifth amendment,

understand? So basically if any of you want to try Anthony, he will kill

you and your younger gangster with his .45 caliber handgun that he bought

with his youtube money. That was crazy. So I just wanted to

let you guys know about that. That was one of the craziest things I have

ever experienced in my life. Hey, when he jumped out and said, "freeze

green-ass sucka" I didn't know if he was from Florida or New York in the

1970s. I didn't know if he was Dapper Dan or Trick Daddy. I didn't

know if he was Alpo or Plies. I didn't know what he was doing, you know?

Anyways, thanks to my friend Anthony, my best friend from the beginning.

Thanks to my friend. My very good friend. My left hand man. All that.

You guys, stay safe. I say what I mean and I mean what I say.

Thunder only happens when it's raining, players only love you when

they're playing.

Give me a call.