I can relate to this; I visited China for this first time about 3 years ago and having no relatives or friends that went to mainland China I joined a Facebook group of Chinese born in foreign countries like I to ask those that had some questions and feedback from their experiences

I heard some of the most horrendous shit that made me almost have a nervous breakdown as my flight date was approaching, so just in case I bought a VPN to be able to keep up with the West

However once I arrived there in the busy summer I was so enchanted by everything I genuinely felt like a country bumpkin that went to a modern city

I didn't even bother with the notifications I was receiving on facebook/snaptchat I just kept on visiting cities after cities, in the hot summer

I was sweating bullets walking around in the summer then when going back to the hotels I would pass by asian aunties dancing in the streets to musics I even heard Billie Eilish one time like lmao

But tbh now that I am back in the West I am also afraid to share the good experience I have had in China because I know part of my family are extremely anti-Chinese (especially the ones that already lost the asian tongue)