I'm pro-choice. But I used to be pro-life. I made the switch when it became real to me. A very close family member shared their pain of having an abortion, and why they chose to do it. It wasn't to sway me, it was just to tell me something they'd been hiding and it had been eating away at them. I felt AWFUL for how I couldn't see how scared and difficult that must have been for her. I finally saw the humanity behind the decision. I grew up fairly religious, I had been mostly brainwashed by other Christians to think that the women who have abortions didn't care about the "life" they killed, that they were just selfish and cruel. But here in front of me was a woman I loved deeply still crying over the shame of her decision decades later, and I made that feeling worse, even though I didn't know I was doing it. I backtracked and became pro-choice because I could see the reality of the situation she faced, and how even though it was difficult, it was the right one for her. Combining that with education in the medical field helped me realize a fetus is tissue, it doesn't carry a soul (I believe), and until it's born the most important life is the one who's having to carry it. Taking away the rights of women wouldn't sway others from doing it unsafely if that's their only option. And focusing on why women make that choice (financial reasons like expensive birth and caring for a young child, being alone with no one to help, bad education on birth control), became the things that I feel will actually reduce abortions, not guilting women who want them or have had them.

I'll never forgive myself for making her feel ashamed for her decisions. But someone sincerely being honest, kind and expressing what happened to them and why they made that choice became the catalyst for my change of mind. This woman wasn't ready to be a mom then, but a few years later, she was with me.